A toxic relationship is one where your well-being is threatened in some way, whether emotionally, psychologically, or physically.

While signs of abuse are definitely toxic in any relationship, there are some more subtle ways in which a relationship can be toxic.

If you notice any of the following seven signs, it is possible you may be in a toxic relationship.

1. Feeling unsupported

The relationships can become very negative if there is a lack of support from one or both sides. A person in a toxic relationship may feel misunderstood and undermined in their relationship and may not feel encouraged to achieve their goals.

A toxic person may see every achievement of the other person as a competition and will always try to one-up them.

You may feel there is no point in progressing towards your goals if it will never be enough for the other person to be proud of you. You may be left feeling as if your successes and interests do not matter as much as theirs do.

2. Toxic communication

Often, you can recognize that someone is toxic in the way they communicate with you and others. They may be very sarcastic and be very critical of you while covering it up by stating that they were ‘only joking.’

They may always find fault with everything you do and blame you for everything negative that happens, never accepting blame themselves. They may also lie and gaslight, making you confused and have you questioning your sanity.

You can also observe how they treat others, especially those they don’t know. For instance, they may be unnecessarily rude to a waiter at a restaurant or pick a fight with someone who cuts in line.

3. Distrust 

While it is normal to experience a bit of envy from time to time, especially when you are in a new romantic relationship, constant suspicion and mistrust can become draining for the other person.

A partner may never trust you even when you have given them no reason not to be trusted, which can prevent you from enjoying your relationship.

A partner may monitor your location, keep wanting you to check in with them via text messages when you’re apart and may question you if you are late back from work or a social event.

You may feel as though your behaviors are restricted because you do not want to do anything that your partner feels unhappy about. You may feel as if your life is being micro-managed by someone who needs to know where you are and what you’re doing every minute of the day.

4. Disrespect 

A toxic person can show disrespect in many ways. This can be through embarrassment, criticism, and putting them down, especially in front of others. They may not value boundaries and make the other person look bad.

A toxic person may stonewall, meaning that they shut down and refuse to communicate with someone, especially when they are being confronted about their behavior.

They may refuse to acknowledge or listen when someone is expressing their feedback or wanting to share their emotions.

Disrespect can also be displayed through lying to the other person, name-calling, and being verbally unkind.

5. Controlling behavior 

A toxic person may have a need to control another person in a relationship. This is where there is an unequal power dynamic, usually with one person dominating another in a self-serving manner.

Some controlling behavior can include wanting to always track your location and making comments about what you wear or do in a way to control. For instance, they may say, ‘I don’t like when you wear that outfit. Don’t wear it again’.

The toxic person may always want to have things go their way, disregarding any other way. They may even want you to spend all your free time with them, which could isolate you from friends and family and deprive you of your independence and other activities you may enjoy.

6. Walking on eggshells 

Someone who is in a relationship with a toxic person may try to do anything they can not to provoke the other person, avoiding any kind of conflict wherever possible.

You may never know what type of mood the toxic person will be in that day, and they may get extremely angry at the smallest thing. If you are afraid of the response you are going to get, you may end up behaving in ways or doing things you may not want to do to avoid the other person becoming upset.

Likewise, you may not want to share your true feelings or unhappiness with someone if you think they are going to become angry or put you at fault for something which you brought as feedback for them.

7. Needs feel neglected

When you go along with whatever the toxic person wants to do, even if it goes against your comfort level or wishes can mean your own needs get neglected.

You may go above and beyond to ensure the other person is happy and safe, but they may not do the same for you.

You may try to bring up your emotional needs to them, but they turn it around so that you end up comforting them instead; thus, there is a lack of emotional reciprocity.

You may not be offered what you need, whether this is some space on your own or more independence.

You may also feel too independent if the other person constantly neglects you, leaving you to deal with your troubles on your own.

This type of toxic person is likely to criticize you, make fun of you, and set out to embarrass you in front of others to make you look inferior.

If you express that you are upset about their behavior, they may say, ‘Can’t you take a joke?’ although you know they are far from joking.

The goal of the belittler is to keep your self-esteem as low as possible so that you are not likely to challenge their control and manipulation.

You may believe that you are not worthy of being treated better, so you are more likely to deal with this toxic behavior as your self-worth becomes so low.

This is the type of toxic person who you may feel like you are walking around on eggshells. You may never know what mood they will be in that day, and they are likely to have aggressive outbursts at you.

You may avoid arguing or discussing anything with this person as you fear that they will lose their temper.

You may not know what triggers their outbursts and be constantly vigilant of their actions. The ‘bad tempered’ toxic person may blame their anger on your actions and may not take any responsibility.

Moreover, they may not show this aggressive behavior to anyone outside the relationship.

Someone who induces guilt controls someone else by making them feel guilty anytime they do something they don’t like.

The guilt-inducer may express that they are disappointed or hurt by your behavior, or they may get someone else to tell you this on their behalf.

They may also remove guilt from a situation if you do something that they want you to do.

This type of toxic person is commonly seen in parent-child relationships, especially with adult children.

For instance, a parent may list all the things they have done for their child growing up as a way to induce guilt and now be owed something in return.

You may try to express unhappiness with something that the toxic person did, but by the end of the conversation, you end up being the one to comfort them.

The deflector may end up convincing you that your issue is your own problem and has nothing to do with them. They may make you feel bad for bringing something up that is upsetting for them, leaving you feeling like you are being selfish.

In this way, you are often deprived of addressing your own feelings of hurt and are likely to continue to put up with the behavior that upsets you because you do not want to bring it up and upset the other person again.

A way in which someone can control another person is to be so passive that the other person has to make most decisions.

The advantage of the passive controller is that you will be held accountable for any negative outcomes of your decision.

You will often know if you have made the wrong decision because the other person will display passive-aggressive behavior, such as stonewalling you.

You may become very anxious about the consequences of your decisions, and it can also be very draining to make all the decisions in a relationship.

This toxic person may disguise their controlling behavior as asserting their ‘independence.’ They may often say, ‘I am not going to let anyone control me’ and will use this to explain away their toxic behavior.

They may agree to plans but then don’t turn up, rarely keep to their commitments, and have unpredictable behavior.

They control others by keeping them uncertain about what they’re going to do. It can be near impossible to make plans with them, and they do not make other people in the relationship feel safe and secure.

You may ask them for reassurance, and they give you vague answers in response to leave you constantly guessing about their intentions.

As long as this type of toxic person gets what they want from the relationship, they can be extremely pleasant to be around. If they are not getting what they want, the user can become very unpleasant.

These are often one-sided relationships where one person gives everything they can to the toxic person while not getting the same energy in return.

You may find that you can never do enough for the user, and this can drain your energy. They may sometimes do small things for you which do not inconvenience them much.

They will then hold this small gesture as an obligation. If you ever question their behavior, they will hold onto this gesture they did for you and induce guilt, so you keep doing things that they want you to do.

While some jealousy is normal, especially at the beginning of an intimate relationship, someone who becomes possessive can become more suspicious and controlling even later in the relationship.

A possessive controller may always check up on you to make sure you are where you said you would be and may interrogate where you were if you come home late from work or a social event.

They may never truly believe you are faithful to them and may accuse you of cheating on them even if there is no reason to think that.

They may overanalyze your relationships with others and insist on looking through your phone or emails and tracking your location to make sure you are staying faithful.

They may also work hard to diminish any relationships you may have with others, such as friends and family. In this way, you become isolated from others and dependent on your partner for all your needs.

It could be that some toxic types of people would fall under the category of a narcissist or sociopaths.

These types of people tend to feed off other people’s attention and admiration and cannot bear for others to be in the spotlight.

Narcissists and sociopaths feel like they must one-up others to feel superior. They may intentionally put others down or insult them when they achieve something. They are not likely to admit to any fault, and if they are made to seem less than perfect, then they feel threatened.